Burial Grounds Policy
The standing Burial Committee of the Meeting consists of the clerk or co-clerks of the Meeting, the clerk of the Property and Grounds Committee and the clerk of the Pastoral Care Committee. The Burial Committee receives and responds to requests for burial in the Meeting burial grounds, grave markers and/or plaques on the brick wall adjacent to the burial grounds. The Burial Committee reviews requests for burial, grave marker or plaque, as set forth in the Third Haven Friends Meeting Memorial Intentions of the deceased, on file with the Pastoral Care Committee, or in a request by the surviving family members. The Burial Committee decides on the eligibility for the burial, grave marker and/or plaque and supports the arrangements for the burial, grave marker and/or plaque, consistent with Meeting policy and practices.
The Meeting and the Pastoral Care Committee encourage Third Haven members and regular attenders to complete the Memorial Intentions Form, which should include explicit directions for burial and memorial service. The Pastoral Care Committee maintains these Memorial Intentions records. Members, regular attenders and their families should maintain and update their Memorial Intentions, as appropriate, and communicate all updates to the Pastoral Care Committee.
At present, the Meeting and the Property and Grounds Committee maintain documentation on the Meeting burial grounds. This is possible through the careful and thorough surveys and work of McKenny Willis, Charles Owens and Tom Bartlett in 1960, and Clarence Barker in 2001. Meeting committees are very grateful to John Hawkinson for maintaining and elaborating the burial grounds documentation in good order. At present burial grounds documentation consists of:
- A large, detailed, accurate site plan of the Third Haven property, with the gravesites superimposed on the site plan;
- Additional maps of the burial grounds, at different scales, showing gravesites;
- "Display Survey.xlsx", an accurate burial grounds site map—with names assigned to all known gravesites, and a related list of names keyed to the gravesites;
- "All Names", a list of all the known names in the Clarence Barker 2001 survey, updated with grave and plaque locations, complete and current as of July 8, 2019; and
- "Photo List 2019" consists of photos of all the grave markers, for burials from 1787 to present. These photos are linked to the gravesite map and the names.
Nevertheless, some burials and graves may be undocumented at present.
At present the burial grounds are well maintained. The boundaries are not clearly marked. There is room for the expansion of burial sites. Nearly all grave markers are erect, but many are very worn by time. Since 1999, 44 plaques have been installed on the brick wall at the back (west side) of the Meeting burial grounds. There is a good deal of space on the brick wall for additional plaques. Most grave markers show the wear of time. Dates and names are not readable on many grave markers. Inscriptions on top show more wear than those on the front.
Burial Grounds Policies
Members and regular attenders, and members of their immediate family (parents and children), may have their cremated remains buried in the burial grounds, have grave markers and/or have plaques installed on the wall. In general, the Meeting expects members and regular attenders to attend meeting for worship, participate in doing the work of the Meeting and financially support the Meeting. Such members, regular attenders and members of their immediate family shall be eligible to be buried, have grave markers or have plaques on the wall, in the Third Haven burial grounds, subject to the approval of the Burial Committee.
Those who ask to be buried in the Meeting burial grounds or have plaques installed, but do not have current or recent, meaningful involvement in the life of the Meeting, as set forth above, may be deemed ineligible, by the Burial Committee.
All requests—including Memorial Intentions filed with the Pastoral Care Committee, for burial in the burial grounds, grave markers and/or plaques—shall be communicated to the standing Burial Committee of the Meeting. The Burial Committee consists of the clerk of the Meeting, the clerk of the Property and Grounds Committee and the clerk of the Pastoral Care Committee. The Burial Committee will receive and respond to each request for burial, grave marker or plaque, as set forth by the deceased, in Memorial Intentions, or as requested in writing by the surviving family members. The Burial Committee decides on the eligibility for the burial, grave marker and/or plaque, and supports the arrangements for the burial, grave marker or plaque.
All costs associated with a burial, grave marker or plaque shall be borne by the estate of the deceased or their surviving family members.
4. Cremated Remains
The cremated remains of members, regular attenders, and their immediate family members may be buried in the Third Haven burial grounds. Unless a member or regular attender has requested a casket burial in Memorial Intentions, filed with the Pastoral Care Committee, prior to December 31, 2019, all burials must be of cremated remains in a container. As of December 31, 2019, only cremated remains may be interred in the burial grounds. As of that date no more casket burials will be allowed.
5. Grave Markers and Plaques
Most existing grave markers are marble. There are some granite markers. All new grave markers must be in keeping with the Quaker testimony on Simplicity. Grave makers must be of a size, scale, form and composition that is consistent with the existing historic grave markers, present in the burial grounds. Those requesting a grave marker or plaque shall secure the approval of the Burial Committee for the grave marker or plaque to be installed.
6. Grave Sites
Members and regular attenders may request and reserve specific sites in the burial grounds for their internment in their Memorial Intentions. The request for a specific grave site or plaque location shall be done in consultation with a member of the Pastoral Care Committee, so that the reserved site location can be properly documented. The Pastoral Care Committee shall record and maintain records of reserved burial sites, as set forth in Memorial Intentions. The Burial Committee shall approve all burial sites not previously reserved in Memorial Intentions.